This is about how I went from being a heavy drug user trying to have as much fun as I could in the world, to having a much bigger party now without illegal substances or destructive behaviors, with the Life of the Party, my new best friend.
I was raised in church but as a teenager became bored as well as tired of it. There were a lot of negative things I saw as a pastor’s kid, including hypocrisy, hatefulness toward one another and others in the world, gossip, slander, backstabbing, etc. I saw them claiming to be Christians while being just like the world around them, except for their religious activity involvement by going to church.
I ended up in heavy drug use of copious amounts of marijuana, had a raging cocaine addiction for a while, and tripped on acid, including an overdose which was a horrible trip to take. Those few drugs I got into I did not just do casually; I did large amounts.
God started tugging on my heart through it all though. I never hit a time that was rock bottom like some do. I still had a good paying job for my age with good salary and bonuses, I had friends that were good to me, and really didn’t have anything majorly bad happen to me, miraculously. How many times I should have died from being shot, dying in a car accident, etc., only God knows. There is no doubt angels were by my side through it all.
One night I was down in a ghetto on the Eastside of Nashville in a back portion of the ghetto with poor lighting and no witnesses to see me killed, several young men with pistols pointed at me, and another one on a balcony nearby with an assault rifle.
It was a drug deal gone bad. Suddenly a few of them got fearful for no apparent reason, it spread among them, until they all ran off. I was left midway through a strip search standing there in the dark with things thrown out all over the ground from out of my Acura Integra. Knowing what I know now, I’m sure it was my guardian angels. They certainly did a good job guarding me, despite my foolish behavior at the time!
So I never hit rock bottom in physical circumstances but I was miserable on the inside. Even more than normal, probably, because I’d been born of the Spirit earlier in my life before the rebellion, and I knew my Shepherd’s touch and voice. I missed the connection with God I had experienced in Christ. All the pleasure in the world just seemed empty, feeling good for a time but not having any lasting substance to fill that inner empty place.
Sometimes when I’d be going to bed, I’d hear, “Why are you doing this to yourself? You know I have better for you than this! Come home.” I truly was a prodigal off living in the pig pen! But his patience and mercy with me was more extreme than my worldly hedonism. He drew me back with his grace and love.
As he pulled on my heart, I eventually made the decision to move from that city and cut ties, so I could start afresh, and seek God again. I of course felt ashamed and guilty, so I didn’t believe at the time I could just waltz right back to him and say, “Here I am! Let’s celebrate!” I longed to be back in union in Christ, but I didn’t feel worthy or acceptable. It was like I walked back and forth and shuffled my feet outside of the gate to Daddy’s house for a while. But my heart was known by God, and one night a surprise was waiting for me in my room in Middletown, Ohio.
In August of 2000, I came home from having a few drinks and just not feeling it that night. I returned home a little early for a Friday night, and by the time I entered my bedroom the digital clock displayed “12:00″ AM. As I stepped across the threshold of the door, the most powerful tangible presence I’d ever experienced was in the room, and my body became weak, and I fell face first on my bed.
Before my face hit the bed, I recall that I wasn’t looking down at my bed as I fell toward it, but was suddenly looking straight at the risen Lord face to face. My only possible reaction was complete fear of the Lord, and I had no strength to stand. I fell face down at his feet like a dead man. Before even thinking about it I was spewing confessions out of my mouth. I went on for a while, weeping and confessing. When nothing else came rolling out, I felt a touch on my right shoulder and immediately a power came into me and lifted me up on my feet, with no effort of my own. I was once again standing before the Lord Jesus himself shining with brilliant glory. This time I was able to look right into his eyes and stand. I remember how strange it was to see such intense fire in his eyes and the feeling that he was looking into the depths of my heart, while also perceiving the most gentle loving kindness and genuine acceptance from those eyes I’d ever known. It was amazing!
He asked me a question three times, and I answered, and after that I have no recollection other than the faint idea, like looking through privacy glass, that he took me places and showed me things and instructed me on heavenly things. I knew later that the reason this part became fuzzy is that he sealed it up, for a later time to be remembered and used.
I came to consciousness in my body again and rolled over in the bed to look at the clock, which now read, “4:30.” I immediately was free of a nicotine addiction and without thinking, just by impulse, got up from the bed, went to the bathroom, and threw away my pack of Kamel Red cigarettes and lighter. I’ve never been addicted to any substance since then, that I “had to have” compulsively. I also never experienced any withdrawals since, from anything.
From that night forward, supernatural activity in my life increased drastically. I found myself having prophetic visions regularly, for example. I started attending my parents’ church in Trenton, Ohio, and before long, was asked to fill in for a Wednesday night youth and young adult class as the teacher. That led to being asked to be the youth pastor unanimously by the counsel they formed seeking a youth pastor. The church voted me in, and I was a youth pastor within about 6 months.
We experienced some neat things while I was there leading the youth, from physical healing, to youth actually being interested enough in God to have 5 hour prayer/worship meetings on Friday night instead of going out with friends and having fun in the world like most teenagers. Now that’s quite a miracle! Many were delivered from demonic bondage, such as one young man who had a major anger problem who was delivered supernaturally, and his parents noticed and testified of such. He was like a new person for them to live with.
I would experience a very tangible presence of God manifest whenever I would focus on my relationship with God, whether praying, praising, or ministering to others. When I would lead those “Upper Room” meetings with the youth who wanted to come, we’d experience a very tangible presence of God in the atmosphere. One night, a couple of teenagers came in that were not members of our group, and just because of the manifestation of the glory of God in the air, they accepted Jesus as Savior and surrendered to him as Lord. We didn’t even preach to them or anything about the good news of Christ and what it means for them. The Spirit took care of it supernaturally. Those two are still with me to this day being disciples in Christ.
I’d often get so inebriated by the heavy glory of God, that I’d stagger and talk like a drunk man. Other times it was like being really high, including times of immobilization, which when I was smoking weed we called couch lock. God replaced all of those destructive ways of getting high and drunk, with eternal bliss without consequence, that is much more pure, and much more pleasurable!
These times in the glory would lead to vast amounts of downloads from heaven; revelation of the Kingdom. It has been a wild, crazy, and amazing time!! Now more than ever, the intoxicating glory of God manifests in our meetings and people get totally blasted. We’ve had people have to be carried out and helped in a car. It used to be that some would get intoxicated visibly, but now we typically hit 90-100% of attendees even if they are new, that get inebriated.
Jesus is the Life of the Party, my friends! There is no greater party than what is in heaven over the prodigal’s return, or a new child of God born of the Spirit, or just because there is so much joyful bliss and perfect love in the Kingdom of God that they can’t help but celebrate on high all of the time. Compared to the mood in heaven, human beings are all majorly depressed. And no wonder, it is hard not to be depressed to some degree in this hell on Earth of the first death, separated from the bliss of God!
But, we do not have to be separated. The wall of partition between us and God has been torn down by the work of Christ, through his death, burial, and resurrection! Only believe! Receive what has already been done on your behalf. It requires no efforts of your own to earn.
I’m a living epistle of what it is to receive such grace, unmerited favor, and proving what Christ has accomplished. I’m a walking miracle. Those who know me from before, and see what has become of me now should all realize this, but sadly, many are chained in darkness by the adversary and blinded in their minds so that they cannot see the obvious reality God has made me proof of, and many others like me.
Disciples of Christ truly should be the most joyful and liberated people on Earth! Christians who are more likely to be thought of as depressed or angry are not actively following Christ, but are deceived and following religious spirits and religious rules of men that put them in bondage, and lead them away from the Life of the Party.
Enter the eternal Party for the sons of God, my friends! Believe and receive the intoxicating joy of the Lord and all of the benefits of what he has accomplished on your behalf, with no effort of your own! If you’ve received this, be blissed out to the next level! Keep going higher until you’ve reached the full stature of maturity in Christ and are manifesting the fullness of the Kingdom of Heaven in the Earth!
I’m still on this greatest of adventures, and what an exciting one it is as we explore the Kingdom of Heaven and our new creation life in Christ, full of joy with pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11)!
Religious systems tried to pull me back in with all of the other people in them, to get me to try to gain favor with God through my efforts. Whenever I did that for a season, it was dry times, let me tell you! And depressing! To try to add to the works of Christ and accomplish our own salvation, or our own refinement, or our own holiness, or our own empowerment (trying to earn gifts of the Spirit for example), is antichrist! All such religious doctrines and works in action are saying that what was already done by the Lord is not good enough, that we need to perfect it by our own efforts. Recognize how foolish that is, my friends!
Whenever I simply accept what he has done for me, and surrender to my purpose in Christ, he keeps me overflowing with the Spirit and intoxicates me on the wine of the covenant. As I enjoy this union I often experience ecstasies that are difficult to describe, and to an onlooker may look very strange in the way it manifests outwardly. But OH THE BLISS!!!
